I may not be correct, but I think you’re not using your freewill enough. Or maybe your freewill has become too posh, too sophisticated, too demure.Maybe your idea of freedom only consists of elegance, luxury, and all things glamorous. And while that’s perfectly fine, that’s not the only way to enjoy your freewill to its fullest.
Somewhere along the way, you became an adult and started behaving only in ways adults are expected to behave. In the process, you left your inner child behind. Adults should only wear these colours. Adults should only wear this brand. That sport is for kids. Darling, with the highest regard, I’m telling you to cut the crap and sit your fat or skinny bum down.
When I shop for example, I naturally gravitate towards items that tell a story. That’s why I buy them. A bag that trended and I loved years ago but I couldn’t afford. A pair of shoes my grandmother wore that I admired but was too young to wear. I find myself drawn to those things, and I choose them over everything else on the rack. It’s not about what’s trending. It’s not about whether it’s cheap or expensive. It’s about what it means to me. It’s about making choices based on history, love, storytelling, and ultimately, my needs. That’s exercising my Freewill. The fashion world has become so repetitive that everyone seems to wear the same things, look the same, and even act the same. Fashion was never meant to be a copy and paste experience. It is meant to be an expression of who you are, not an attempt to become someone else. That’s why I admire creators and brands that design with purpose instead of producing generic wear and go pieces. The best fashion isn’t just something you wear. It’s about telling a story, reflecting your personality, and reinventing yourself.
I listened to the radio a lot growing up, but somewhere along the line, adulthood made me forget that it was something I genuinely enjoyed. Now I have just ordered myself a transistor radio in order to have that sweet experience again. To be honest, sometimes we forget what we love. We forget what makes us happy, especially when life has been gloomy for too long. The roller coaster involved in this thing we call life can be so draining that you don’t even remember you dislike toppings on your ice cream. It takes tasting it before you realise you made the wrong order. Whose fault is that?
When was the last time you allowed yourself to get caught in the rain and simply walked home drenched? It’s not always “shitty weather.” Sometimes, it’s just rain. When was the last time you watched your favourite childhood cartoon? Or listened to the songs you loved as a child but rarely had the chance to enjoy? You’re an adult now. No one can tell you to turn it off. You can play it all day if you want to.
Growing up, I was taught that there is a time for everything. People compared life to the seasons. A time for rain, a time for drought, a time for planting, and a time for harvesting. So I believed some dreams, joys, and experiences belonged to a future version of my life. I don’t believe that anymore. Life doesn’t come with a manual, and this is your first time being here. You live it by learning and unlearning.
Things don’t happen for everyone at the same pace. You can be 50 and only just be experiencing the childhood you never had. So don’t limit yourself. Don’t put yourself in a bracket. Experience life as it comes.
Use your free will to its maximum capacity.
I’ve also realised that waiting can quietly become a habit. We postpone joy until we’re less busy, wealthier, healthier, or happier. We keep telling ourselves, “One day.” But what if today is that day? If something matters to you, plan it. Make room for it. Figure it out. Stop waiting for the perfect season, because life doesn’t always announce when it’s ready. Every day holds room for joy, curiosity, healing, and play.
So trace your steps back to the good old days. Rediscover what you loved but couldn’t access. Then go and do it now even if that means buying yourself a doll.